by Banah bint Mohja al Ghadbanah
I have so many voices that collide in my head. Sometimes I wonder: How do I know which ones are my intuition? Which ones are the voices of other beings, other thoughts, spirits, dreams? How do I know if I’m communicating with ancestors, spirit guides, the divine forces, or if I’m accidentally tuning into someone else’s frequency? How do I distinguish what thoughts are the Ripe thoughts, the ones free of fear and anxiety?
How do I find the chorus of angels, The Voices of Righteous Intuition, when there is so much static to sift thru in the energetic sphere? What do I need to be guided toward my dreams and dreams for planet earth?
My sister told me once that she read somewhere Thoughts are like little spirits. The spirits visit us with ideas that pop into our heads. Those ideas come to life when we learn to receive them. I believe they come to life in dreams, revelations, visions, and other beautiful supernatural feelings. To receive the Guiding Intuitive Force, you have to know the sound of your own voice. The more you get to know yourself, and the tone of your own thoughts, the more you begin to recognize other sounds in the rhythm of All things.
In Gloria Anzaldua’s newest book, she wrote so beautifully about accessing your Guiding Intuitive Forces while in-between consciousness, when you are asleep and reality collapses onto your dreams, visiting other realities. She said:
Each day, curled up in my bed before sleeping or after waking, I spend time in particular imaginal places. Stories unravel in these inner worlds, some I consciously construct or will into being, others emerge out of images that don’t originate with me… whose stories I “watch” as I would a movie someone else has made. I call these…”ensuenos.” The word ensueno means: un sueno que se hace realidad, a dream that becomes reality…a way to bridge the reality of the dream with the reality. In these imaginings I process feelings, traumas, negativities resulting from gender, racial, or other oppressions, and I mourn my losses. These stories—both those I create and those created for me by something outside of myself (soul, spirit, the universe’s consciousness”)—nourish me, heal me in ways I don’t completely understand.
The more we can tap into the bridge, the more we can receive the knowledge that will guide us. In those places it is possible to take your silence and hurt and turn into lush and green. And then you can carry that into This Reality. It is possible when you reconnect to your Soul power. So how do you start entering these worlds? What if we are so stressed that we don’t have time to dream? The key to learning the languages of spirit is this
Then breathe again /
in / out/ in /
slow / release
And then close your eyes.. and SLEEP!
Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes about the magic of sleep. It’s how we slip into other realms of consciousness. And how the psyche can learn the sound of her own voice. She said that “the psyche works even when we sleep, most especially when we sleep, even when we are not fully conscious of what we are enacting.” (from women who run with wolves~ page 92)
I have something called narcolepsy, which is a sleep disorder where you dip into deep states of paralysis when you would otherwise be awake. People casually make jokes about narcolepsy and use it as a term in super ableist ways. But the great thing about people with narcolepsy is that they all know the same secret. That the boundaries between this “Reality,” and other realities is actually very blurry. Even without narcolepsy, we all know that state in between sleep and wake Gloria Anzaldua writes about. We need to access these places and live for a minute in our dreams. We are dreamers, and our dreams are stories that need telling. We can’t set ourselves free or change the world if we don’t allow ourselves the exploration other possibilities.
Dreams are, Clarissa Pinkola Estes says, “portales, entrances, preparations, and practices for the next step in consciousness…where we find “the soul-voice speaking” the force that “chooses what will cause the least amount of fracturing in the psyche” (woman who run with wolves ~ page 92).
For so long I’ve been feelin like inside me are so many ideas and dreams. I spend a lot of time in those worlds. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with This Reality and it smacks me in the face when I come back to earth. This is common for other space divas / lunar in betweeners / displaced dancers of the space time continuum. Once you step inside those realms it’s important to come back down to the ground in this ~quote un quote ~ Reality.
Ask yourself these questions: Now that you can hear your soul-voice, you are resting, breathing, diving into your subconscious, what does the world around you look like in this dream / reality? What breathes and moves with you? What stays still? What are the shapes of energies around you? What does the sky look like in this moment? Is it cloudy, rainy, full of sun? What is the world around you trying to say? At what cycle is the moon?
Another exercise I invented in my head to flex intuition is start talking to inanimate objects. Nothing is really inanimate because everything has electromagnetic fields that move with ours too. There’s this space diva documentary I love where they take pictures of city buildings with a thermal cameras to show that even skyscapers, built into angular cement and steel, bend and sway energetically. They are not so rigid at all, but glowing in movement and overlap with the energies that collide inside.
When I was a teenager I used to complain to my Mom about not being able to communicate coherently in Arabic with my grandfather. She used to say, “You don’t need language to communicate.” It’s true. We interact with the world around us in so many ways energetically. So take a nap, ask god for a dream, wake up and talk to the birds, the wood floor, the spoon, the drawer. A not so simple recipe for Soul Voice Departure. The Guiding Intuitive Force is in us, among a wide cast of characters from our ancestors, divine forces, light beings, fire beings, water angels, thought spirits, and other animal, plant, and human energy. She is alwaze waiting for us to call her into our bodies. She just needs gentle coaxing for recovery.